Have A Steak Today

In order to not seem like a Valentine’s Scrooge I figured I’d better write something about Valentine’s Day or at the very least about love or relationships. It was my initial intention to just not write anything today since my only healthy loving relationship outside of my family is the one I have with my Netflix queue. But if Steve Harvey can have relationship troubles and still get people to buy into his stuff then why shouldn’t I give it a whirl, huh? So here goes…

Over beers with the guys a few months back the conversation turned to intimacy with our (their) women, wives or significant others; more specifically, who bears the weight of responsibility on who initiates “physical interaction”. Of the 7 or so of us that were out it was nearly a consensus that we (men) have to make the first move when that feeling strikes…not to mention run the risk of getting shot down if you’re (ladies) not in the mood. The one friend who said he had no such problems was banished from the group and asked to never come back and hang out again.

In the words of the one of the dudes in attendance: “Sure I’m a gentleman and all that, but I want to be treated like a piece of meat from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get tackled every now and again, is it?!” Then I got choked up and couldn’t talk anymore and I broke down crying right there at the bar. Okay, just kidding (sorta).

But that thought was shared and agreed upon by the group. As we’re not the only ones that “get that feeling” there should be an equal and shared “tackling” experience going on in households across America. Ladies, ask yourself these questions. Have you:

  • Met your man at the door and “attacked” him before he could get the door closed at least once in the last 6 months?
  • Sent at least 3 risque texts/pictures to your dude in the middle of his work day then followed up on it when you got home in the last fiscal year?
  • Just rolled over and “taken it” in the last 6 months?
  • Laid out some skimpy options on the bed, told your dude to look them over and asked him which he would like to take off you later that night?

There are more questions that you can look up at The Organization for Horned Up Gentlemen’s website; it can be found at www.helpmywilly.org (by the way, I’m BS’ing about that website, don’t click it LOL). But if you haven’t done any of those things lately consider making your man feel like a piece of meat sometime soon. We don’t mind it, in fact, we rather like it and it may get you that new bag you’ve been longing for (disclaimer: your results may vary)

In conclusion, it is my hope that taking this suggestion to heart will increase the ladies’ impetus to become the aggressor. We may say we want the sweet, demure woman, and we do, but even better if she’s an occasional Tazmanian Devil. So, wives, significant others, and others ladies that will have a warm body nearby tonight, that man next to you is a piece of meat today and from this day forward. Whether you see him as sirloin or porterhouse is up to you, but whatever cut of meat you decide make it a point to cut into him more often, we’re not gonna protest, football season is over and we have no distractions, so by all means, smack it up, flip it, and rub it down…oh yeah!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have some Frosted Flakes and make my Netflix queue say my name when I turn it on…

~thanks for reading 🙂

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Categories: Humor, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Have A Steak Today

  1. dejaloves2read

    As always you have done a wonderful job! My meat is marinating (I hope) for a few weeks, but believe me when it’s done I will be all on it. : )

    Love ya!

  2. I like that sweetie. I may need to work on some of my man meat skills.

  3. Cornelia Parks

    Very cute, you were watching the home fires. During the lean times dont forget the how to’s and keep looking and you will one day be someones Porterhouse steak with the untrimmed fat. Thats the best kind.. Love Mom ! P.S. Tonight we are having Sloppy Joes, what that mean. LOL

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