Your Internal Inconsiderate Bastard

The trophy wife. I don’t know any man that hasn’t dreamed of having one and if a man isn’t the marrying type then he at least wants a beautiful trophy woman he can count on to take to dinner, to travel with, to hang out with, and to basically have on his arm to show off; especially when our boys are around. This was the topic of conversation with me and some of my boys at one of our most recent beer summits here inAtlantawhere the single amongst us talked of what we preferred to have in a woman while our married brethren drank and nodded their heads where appropriate. We talked about shapes, sizes, long hair or short, her relationship with God, career, education, and ability to string together multiple complete sentences and since there was beer and men in attendance we talked about the required freakiness quotient of the woman in question…of course. And once we were done with our build-a-woman project we had the perfect being, equal parts sexy and intelligent with highly proportioned curves with long or short hair (because we couldn’t come to a consensus on that). And after all of that over a table full of beer bottles at varying levels of empty a voice of reason rang out, “Damn, that chick is too good for us!” to which we all laughed a bit.

But it was true. At least a little bit.

I think it is safe to say that all men have said they want the trophy wife with the pretty smile, the sweet demeanor, and the body that looks delectable in, what else, a sundress but what about us? The least we can do is do is our part, right? The hell a dude look like requesting a woman that’s all proportioned and whatnot when they haven’t been to the gym in a month? What is a man gonna do with a financially stable woman when he has bad debt?

I forgot where I heard this from but some of the best advice I ever heard was to be the person that I’m trying to attract. You want a successful woman, be successful. You want a fine woman, get in the gym reduce your body fat and be a fine man yourself, you want a woman with her own stuff, be a man with stuff of your own; otherwise you’re just an inconsiderate bastard for asking for something you know you damn well don’t deserve. And that makes plenty of sense. You can’t walk into a bank with a 512 credit score and come out with a home loan for $500,000 unless you have a mean hookup, or a gun and a mask. Same concept when you’re considering mates. Sure you can luck up and get one for a night but on a permanent basis it’s going to be hard to walk away with the All American prospect if you’ve got nothing to offer.

Be the person you want to attract. It doesn’t have to be money or material (though, it helps your case lol). Be a good person with a good heart with good intentions with the aspirations of being a better you every day; that’s a start. But by all means, bring something, some kind of life collateral because that woman, the all inclusive trophy wife type, or that man, the chiseled business conscious everyman, is out there for you to snatch up. They just have to know that what you are right now isn’t all that they’re getting.

~thanks for reading

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16 comments

  1. While this entire post was good (as always), one thing stuck out to me: You and your (male) friends want a woman as intelligent as she is beautiful. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard that men don’t want smart women? Do you know how many women truly believe they have to act dumb to attract a man?

    I’ve never believed it and I’ve never done it and I’ve never, ever had a problem attracting men. It’s good to have it written here. Hopefully one of those women who does believe that will read this and get it.

    • Thanks for coming by, Renee!! I have never wanted a woman that wasn’t smart. I’m a bookworm and a bit of a nerd when I want to be so I need someone that I can match wits with. Smart is sexy, always has been, at least for me and the dudes I hang out with. No fun dealing with a dumb chick.

  2. Renee, I’ve never really heard any of my friends say that they prefer women who aren’t smart. None of the guys I associate with want to deal with a chick who isn’t intelligent in some form or fashion. I’ve never had a chick dumb things down when dealing with me either.

      • To be clear: I have NEVER heard a man say he wanted a dumbed down woman. That impression, for whatever reason, has only come from women who think that’s what men want.

        I don’t know if there are a lot of women who just know a lot of total jerks or if they’re projecting something or what. I just hope those women read this and realize how wrong they are. 🙂

  3. Renee :

    To be clear: I have NEVER heard a man say he wanted a dumbed down woman. That impression, for whatever reason, has only come from women who think that’s what men want.

    I don’t know if there are a lot of women who just know a lot of total jerks or if they’re projecting something or what. I just hope those women read this and realize how wrong they are. :-)

    I’m thinking, Renee, that’s just the flawed thinking of some women that deal with a lot of shady men. 😉

  4. Wow again something for us to think about. Having taken that into advisement some time ago, I’m working on becoming what I want to attract. One goal I’ve nearly reached, the other is a work in progress. Thanks for the reminder sweetie

    • Michelle…thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it!!! No worries, I think that it’s something we can all take to heart for the good of all our collective happiness. 🙂

  5. You said all these men looking for intelligent women are having beer where? I mean…funny and insightful as always. 😉 To be sure, though, intelligent women are intimidating to men who don’t have it together, and the deer-in-headlights look gets tiring.

    • Thanks for stopping in Sarah…it’s true that the intelligent women can be a tad intimidating but trust me, for long term partners we would rather be challenged by intelligence…keeps us on our toes.

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