After being greeted by sold out theaters all over Atlanta during the film’s opening weekend, I was finally able to see the movie Get Out a few days ago. I thought the film was a triumph and incredibly original which is welcome in a time when studios would rather give you Fast and Furious 37: Revving and Reckoning, and Smurfs 8: The Payback of Azrael or (name your Hollywood sequel series here…)
In the few days since seeing the movie I’ve been extra, mega “woke” as the kids in them streets say. Without spoiling much for anyone who may not have seen the flick, I no longer have any tea equipment in the house, no kettles, cups or saucers, there is one spoon in the house that is used only for my morning Frosted Flakes, and I sold my Keurig on Ebay last night. I KEEP my earbuds on at work, at the gym, at the mall, at Bible study; if it sounds like a bell or chime of any sort I ain’t trying to hear that isht. But mainly, in my heightened state of Wokeness I am now aware of the countless other brothers and sisters who were told to sink and are dwelling in The Sunken Place. In the past day or two I’ve thought of some of these people and compiled a short list of not only who amongst our former brothers and sisters is in The Sunken Place, but who bought them at auction and is currently “driving the car”.
1. Ben Carson
Okay, this one was easy seeing as though his Slaves as immigrants theory on Monday made as much sense as gummy bears as vegetables or trap music as brain food. There is no real explanation as to why a world reknowned and brilliant neurosurgeon who once lead a massive team of doctors in separating conjoined twins would go glassy-eyed, get a painting of himself and Jesus at the sauna commissioned and hung in his home, and make statements like he made last night. Well, there is an explanation, Carson didn’t say it. Ol’ Ben is down in the hole screaming “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!” because this dude bought him at auction and is now speaking through his body….
Strom Thurmond – Makes sense right? Thurmond dies in 2003 and then in 2004, under Republican President George W. Bush, Carson is appointed to serve on the President’s Council on Bioethics. Coincidence that Carson is appointed to a Presidential council mere months after Thurmond goes to the
Upper Lower Room? Perhaps. I’m of the thinking that something else is afoot, namely an auction at the Armitage estate. Thurmond gets a brilliant background, gets to say the same isht he used to say when he was living with none of the blame, and he gets to continue sleeping with Black women which he had a penchant for. All wins for Strom. Be aware!
2. Sheriff David Clarke
When conservative news needs a black face to spew out since stir fried bullisht you can bet your mortgage/rent that Sherriff David Clarke is the speed dial button they push. Clarke, like his dear Uncle Ruckus, takes frequent breaks from his Re-Vitiligo treatments to gleefully rail against most things Black. He happily stumped for President 45 during the election cycle, refers to Black Lives Matter as a hate group with “subhuman creeps” as members, and refers to Blacks as “uneducated” and “lazy” in an interview with Glenn Beck. There is nary a time that a Black person sees him on TV and doesn’t have the stereotypical, blank stare and slight head tilt that illustrates pure confusion at what they are seeing. But they really aren’t seeing Clarke because this dude won him at auction at the Armitage estate…
George Wallace – Now someone as evil as Wallace likely would wince at being in a Black body as a staunch segregationist but since he was the forerunner of racial politics leading the way for Nixon and those after him he probably figured hiding in plain sight would give a better platform for manipulation. Wallace takes back his lifelong comments and actions and tries to apologize to Black folk in his final years then goes to have milk and cookies with Satan in 1998, but not before winning a 20 year law enforcement veteran up north in Wisconsin in an auction at the Armitage estate. You might consider this a stretch of sorts but this is the same man that said, “If some anarchist lies down in front of my automobile, it will be the last automobile he will ever lie down in front of.” Doesn’t that sounds like Clarke on any Fox News segment you’ve heard? Well, it’s not Clarke, it’s Wallace 2.0. Stay woke!
3. Manchester United’s Paul Pogba
Jesus wept I believe, not because of the death of His friend Lazarus, but because He looked down eternity’s timeline, tripped over 2017, and saw this dude with this hair, and laid down on the dusty road he traveled and sobbed. You’re fooling no one, sir. And his purchaser at auction…
Can’t put my finger on any one person here. He could have been bought by any one of millions of White dudes (or that one Asian dude, remember?!) whose father wished more than anything that his son could be a world class footballer but was only good enough to get cut by his JV team in 9th grade. Feeling the shame, he put on a suit, combed his platinum blonde hair, and went to the Armitage auction. The hair. That’s why.
4. Clarence Thomas
Has there ever been a man that looked more traumatized at being black? If you sit in the middle of a pentagram and play an India Arie record in reverse, this face falls from the sky. If you’re looking for full time residency in The Sunken Place, look no further than Clarence Thomas who has been the closest thing to the character Stephen from the movie Django that real life has ever, or will ever see. There are few on this side of the Community that have a positive opinion of Thomas and a quick search of his stances on the internet machine give a distinct illustration why. But really is it Clarence from south Georgia or is it…
…J. Edgar Hoover? Knowing that he had a quickly approaching job interview with Beelzebub, former FBI director and COINTELPRO puppeteer J. Edgar Hoover, apparently attended the Armitage auction and purchased Thomas before his death in May 1972. In September of 1974, Thomas became the Assistant Attorney General of Missouri, then worked as an attorney for evil factory Monsanto, before latching on back in Washington under the Reagan administration, yet another evil factory. Hoover now, through Thomas, is back to doing Hoover things but shout out to whoever took a flash photograph of Clarence Thomas back in 1981, the only viable explanation for naming his son Jamal.
Steve Harvey. Kanye West. Stacey Dash.Diamond and Silk, oh God, definitely Diamond and Silk. We can assume that these and several others have taken up residence in The Sunken Place. Who may have purchased them at auction and now responsible for driving their actions though? I’ll leave that for you to theorize and decide at your own leisure. Be aware, be vigilant, and for goodness sake, be wary of those White ladies speaking in hushed tones with tea cups in their hand.