So Incredibly Random

Blacks in The Sunken Place (and the White Men That Won Them at Auction)

Horrific Teacups

After being greeted by sold out theaters all over Atlanta during the film’s opening weekend, I was finally able to see the movie Get Out a few days ago. I thought the film was a triumph and incredibly original which is welcome in a time when studios would rather give you Fast and Furious 37: Revving and Reckoning, and Smurfs 8: The Payback of Azrael or (name your Hollywood sequel series here…)

In the few days since seeing the movie I’ve been extra, mega “woke” as the kids in them streets say. Without spoiling much for anyone who may not have seen the flick, I no longer have any tea equipment in the house, no kettles, cups or saucers, there is one spoon in the house that is used only for my morning Frosted Flakes, and I sold my Keurig on Ebay last night. I KEEP my earbuds on at work, at the gym, at the mall, at Bible study; if it sounds like a bell or chime of any sort I ain’t trying to hear that isht. But mainly, in my heightened state of Wokeness I am now aware of the countless other brothers and sisters who were told to sink and are dwelling in The Sunken Place. In the past day or two I’ve thought of some of these people and compiled a short list of not only who amongst our former brothers and sisters is in The Sunken Place, but who bought them at auction and is currently “driving the car”. Continue reading

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Categories: Humor, movies, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Beware! The Beyhive Cometh…

I REALLY HAD SOMETHING PRINCE RELATED lined up to write about tAngry Beesoday but I’ll shelve that for a day or so; I feel compelled to jump on another subject of note from this weekend and that subject is this: The only thing funnier than people repeatedly criticizing Beyoncé’s work (and it’s generally pretty damn good work) is the horde of Beyoncé fans that feel the need to unnecessarily come to her rescue.

I’ve talked about the group known as the Beyhive, the fiercely loyal group indelibly tied to Mrs. Knowles-Carter, before here on my little space on the internet. Once upon a time Wu Tang Clan had the monopoly on Killer Bees. No longer, they’ve been usurped by the “beys” of a different spelling. These span from teenagers to grown-the-hell-up-ass women. They are all colors. They are male and female. They are at every show. And they want your blood if you even think a solitary negative thought about Beyoncé.

All of your blood.

Now there’s really no need to get into the whole Rachel Ray fiasco at this point because it’s well documented how some misguided, and obviously not quite reading at grade level, members of the ‘Hive came hunting for her and were on her Instagram cussing out pictures of food and recipes. I can only assume that Ms. Ray was left shivering in a corner and after ripping all the Ethernet cables out of her computers and throwing her WiFi router in the pool out back after being verbally berated after simply wanting to break y’all off with some warm and flaky buttermilk biscuits.

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My question though is simply, “Why?”

I understand fandom. Really I do. Back in the day I was a devoted member of Friends of Janet when that was a thing. Before I was a FOJ, I was a Janet Jackson fanatic dating back to the TV show, “Fame”, and “Diff’rent  Strokes” before that…and “Good Times” before that. I did the fan meetups, the special ticket promos that got me seats close enough to the stage to get Janet sweat on my shirt, and got all the cool Janet swag – the tee shirts, the hats, and the buttons and if I didn’t get all I was supposed to get, I was on the internet as fast as my dial up connection would allow to get all my isht because if I’m sitting second row center Janet might get a glimpse of me and she needed to see that I had all my Janet buttons.  I get devotion and the occasional desire to rally but I don’t remember people coming for other people’s necks; it’s different with the Beyoncé fans. They tend to go full Game of Thrones on these folk, riding in on dragons barefoot wearing full length ball gowns brandishing Louisville Sluggers just like their hero on the latest video for the night is dark and full of Beyhive members! They out here on Twitter standing sentinel like modern day S1W’s (Public Enemy reference, look it up) just waiting on someone to talk reckless so they can get to twirling and slaying on these folk via keyboard and they won’t rest until the Twitter mentions of the offending party looks like 10 minutes after Hiroshima and there’s been a full write up of the massacre on all the major entertainment blogs. But why though? Why?

Are there ticket prizes for the most brutal Hive member? Is there a pecking order amongst the group that one virtually ascends when they defend the Queen’s honor successfully? After a computer based flawless victory against a Bey naysayer do you get to hang with Solange and Beyoncé at a brunch that’s nwhyow has to be hosted by Bobby Flay instead of Rachel Ray because she’s STILL afraid to come out of the house? Why, why, why the need to defend so heavily? Because, while I don’t know much about Beyoncé, I’m pretty sure that she takes the time occasionally to giggle her pretty ass off about all of it. I’m certain that she’s amused that she has her very own Knights of the Round Beyhive out here in these streets jousting on her behalf while she is likely lying in the middle of her living room floor making snow angels in $100 bills. Why? Why? Why? I’m sure there’s reasoning for it, I’m also sure that whatever that reason is, it isn’t necessary because while people are out here Hunting For Haters all she doing is cashing more checks, making more videos, and becoming even more of an icon – all of which she can do without people committing internet murder via social media. Even still though, if you’ve got answers I’m interested to know what that’s about.

And I’m asking with all respect because I see how y’all do out here. I’m not trying to come up missing behind a blog post on a little read slice of the internet machine.

With love,

Skrap

 

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Categories: Attempts at Seriousness, Humor, So Incredibly Random, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Beyonce Knows Timing is Money…

beyonce-moneyThe rich are and stay rich for several reasons, one of the most important being that they are opportunistic. Wildly successful people have a penchant for striking when the iron is hot and rarely missing a chance to maximize on an opportunity. Timing is key when it comes to high achievement. Megastar Beyonce Knowles is a 1-A example of this, her life as we know it know is due to repeated occurrences of doing the right thing at the right time.

She had to know when to rid herself of the other two members of Destiny’s Child (a.k.a Beyonce ‘n Nem), she had to connect herself with the right guy at the right time (Jay Z) to start a family empire in addition to her singular one. And of course the perfect example of her timing that took place just over a week ago on flat screen TVs across this nation and world. Not the release of the “Formation” video and subsequent next day performance of the song at the Super Bowl that spurred joy, loathing, admiration, protests, and a spike in Red Lobster stock; this is something else.

Continue reading

Categories: So Incredibly Random, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Grocery Stores and the Apocalypse

At this moment as I sit here in Atlanta and type to you it is 51 degrees. The sky is overcast but the day is pleasant. There is a gentle breeze blowing outside, a bird is singing its song to anyone that will listen; I can hear the dog in the backyard barking loudly at something, more than likely the bird that I just told you about. However two miles away there is another land, one brewing with worry and strife; its people are panicked and its streets are packed. That land is called Kroger. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Humor, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Getting Older Awkwardly…

CalmOld

Getting older.

It’s something that we all have to do. As long as we continue to breathe we will continue to get older. Each minute, each hour, each day, and each year brings about something that alerts us that our bodies are, indeed, temporary. We can’t run as fast or as long as we used to. We don’t recover as quickly after a late night out with friends. It seems as though we find a new ache every couple of months; it was only a couple of days ago that I woke up and stepped out of bed and nearly collapsed because my ankle was swollen and felt sprained. Who in the world sleeps too athletically? Apparently me.  I can take all of that no sweat but one thing I can’t really deal as I’ve gotten older is my emotions. Screw my emotions, all of them. Because they are betraying me at the most inopportune times. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Humor, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Thoughts From The Weekend, Vol. 2

For the first time in a while I spent a weekend out of the confines of metro Atlanta. Needed some time to reevaluate things and break away from the familiar for a while so I jumped in the car, pointed it northward, and got out of dodge. The road trip was kinda lengthy so there was plenty of time to for random thoughts and such. Some of which are listed for you below. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, So Incredibly Random, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Three Weekend Tidbits: Vol. 1

We just had the first really beautiful weekend of the year here in Atlanta. The temperatures topped out at 76 degrees, tree blooms came out to play and people were everywhere – in the parks, cruising in their cars, in the malls – all trying to take in the first occurrence of Spring weather. I, of course, was numbered amongst those out in the sun as I spent most the weekend outdoors. As I usually do when I’m out and about I keep my notepad app on my phone at the ready in case I see something interesting. The following is a couple of questions and tidbits that I typed in my phone while I was around the city the last couple of days. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, College Years, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Manscaping and Near Death Experiences

Author’s Note: A few friends that frequent my blog asked what’s been going on with me lately? They said that I didn’t seem myself with all the encouragement and motivational type blogs that I’ve been up to lately, not that encouragement and motivation suck, but it is a departure from the material that usually occupies this space. I told them that I would attempt to find my way back to that type material so I give you today, a story about my near death experience. Obviously. -Skrap

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I have yet to find a way to slow the calendar so birthdays continue to come but getting a little older doesn’t mean that I have to resign myself to feeling lethargic and heavy, right?  At some point we have all looked at ourselves in a mirror and perhaps come to the realization we should take better care of ourselves. But then we get lazy and we find the our food better when its fried and before you know it two months have passed and we’ve still not managed to get our tails off the couch and onto a treadmill. It would be so simple if we just had the ability to decide to do better and then make better happen; most of us, though, need a severe kick in the hindquarters in order to get ourselves together. I got my wake up call during the final week of January of this year when I nearly died, kind of. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Family, Humor, So Incredibly Random, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Parenting Experiment for Non-Parents

400-04372327THURSDAY WAS A GREAT DAY! One of my best friends welcomed his first child into the world, a baby girl right at 5 lbs and about 17 and a half inches long. From all accounts she’s a gorgeous little girl and by the few pictures I’ve seen I have to agree with that assessment. Of my friends in my immediate circle there are several that I would have thought would become fathers before this guy, especially given his rant in THIS BLOG about rabbits and the greyhounds that chase them, but he’s already taken to fatherhood well, feeding, changing, the whole thing. Truth is, we don’t know who will make good candidates for parenthood. We can make guesses based on personality and demeanor but who becomes a good parent is pretty much a crap shoot. Wouldn’t it be great though if there were some sort of test that you could take that would gauge your parental aptitude prior to making a kid and then finding out as you go? Too bad that doesn’t exist – or maybe it does! Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Family, Humor, Relationships, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Baptist Kid, Catholic World Vol. 1

“Our Father, which art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name,
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.”

You’ll need that in a minute…for now, just keep reading.

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Spot the Baptist Kid...I DON’T KNOW, maybe it’s all this stuff in the news about the Pope retiring that’s had me reminiscing about my old Catholic School days way back yonder. Those were good times, I was able to step outside of my neighborhood and make friends with kids that didn’t live in my neck of the woods: Scottish kids, Cuban kids, White kids, Asian kids, but most importantly, and obviously, Catholic kids. Having attended this school from Kindergarten to the 8th grade, I became knowledgeable about Catholic Mass and how everything was done: How to pray a rosary, the sign of the cross, Stations of the Cross (oh, man, I hated Stations), and everything in between. Better still I had become adept at not getting my full time Baptist all mixed up with my part time Catholic; they were both in their own little compartments. My family, however, only sent me to school there, they didn’t stay there and have to go to First Friday Mass like I’d done for years, they knew nothing about Ash Wednesday, or the celebration of the Assumption and they certainly didn’t know the Catholic prayer rules and not knowing those rules is how my family embarrassed me at my 8th grade graduation Mass. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Family, Humor, Religion, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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