Getting Older Awkwardly…

CalmOld

Getting older.

It’s something that we all have to do. As long as we continue to breathe we will continue to get older. Each minute, each hour, each day, and each year brings about something that alerts us that our bodies are, indeed, temporary. We can’t run as fast or as long as we used to. We don’t recover as quickly after a late night out with friends. It seems as though we find a new ache every couple of months; it was only a couple of days ago that I woke up and stepped out of bed and nearly collapsed because my ankle was swollen and felt sprained. Who in the world sleeps too athletically? Apparently me.  I can take all of that no sweat but one thing I can’t really deal as I’ve gotten older is my emotions. Screw my emotions, all of them. Because they are betraying me at the most inopportune times. Continue reading

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Categories: Atlanta, Humor, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

BOGO Day at Subway – The Finale

Last I left you a couple of weeks ago the time was 3:35pm and I was standing in what looked like a Subway sandwich shop but what, in actuality, may have very well been the Twilight Zone what with all the weird things going on at that point. If you’re just joining us you can read HERE, HERE, and HERE to get caught up. And now…

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I laughed as I took a look at the clock on the wall as it read 3:35 which meant that I’d been foolish enough to stand pat in line at this particular Subway for over nearly 20 minutes, 30 minutes if you count the time that I sat in the car listening to the Braves on the radio get the final three outs in their afternoon game against the Phillies. How bad must I have wanted to take advantage of Buy One, Get One Free at Subway? I guess about as bad as I wanted a hamburger from a Hardee’s that I thought was being robbed, but I digress. But there was light at the end of the tunnel because there were only two people ahead of me now. Two young men, somewhere between the ages of 18-20 if I had to guess, were standing in line in the typical ‘hood uniform of sagging shorts, nondescript plain shirts – one a white wifebeater and the other a black t shirt at least 3 sizes too big – white socks, and houseshoes. Both of them deemed it appropriate to come out of the house wearing fuzzy houseshoes. After giving them the quick once over I was doubtful that this would be a swift transaction, then once one of the young men asked the following question, I knew I should probably pull up a chair because this was going to take a while: Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

BOGO Day at Subway – Pt. 3: Frustration

Okay folks, if you haven’t done so you need to read THIS BLOG and THIS BLOG to get the back story here. Or you can just read this one and miss out on what’s already happened in this thread. Here we go…

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Time: 3:19pm

The hustleman induced laughter had just about died down both amongst the Subway patrons and the workers and things had returned to normal. I was looking over the menu when I heard something all too familiar; it was the unmistakable sound of an impatient Black female sucking her teeth. Having grown up in the house with my two older sisters I learned early that when you hear that sound the probability is better than 70% that there’s about to be some raised voices in the room in a short matter of time. The woman a couple of spots ahead of me in line was standing arms folded with a huge Michael Kors bag on her shoulder. When I say huge I mean that an airline would have to measure it to make sure that it would fit in an overhead compartment before a commercial airline flight. It was a nice bag but far too big for a neighborhood jaunt to Subway for a sandwich; Aside from her ridiculously large bag the very next thing that I noticed were her eyelashes which were Disney character long – Bambi, Lady from Lady and the Tramp, Ariel the Little Mermaid – they all would have killed to have the eyelashes that this lady had glued to her eyelids. While her lashes were attached to perfection, the eyes they adorned were currently shooting darts into the back of the gentleman in front of her. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

BOGO Day at Subway – Pt. 2: Sock Man

Hey you! You should probably read THIS BLOG first before you start reading down there. Don’t worry, we’ll wait.

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Date: Saturday, April 13
Time: 3:15 pm
Place: Subway Restaurant in Decatur (where it’s greater). GA

The line for sandwiches at the Subway was at a standstill but I paid it no mind because “E.T.” by Katy Perry was playing over the store’s speakers and I was GOING IN singing along with the lyrics! One of the “sandwich artists” paused from sprinkling oregano on the sandwich in front of her and flashed a look in my direction that said “why this Black dude standing here singing this song by some white chick?” Just as I was about to flash her my million dollar smile, I saw her eyes go towards the door; immediately her expression turned quizzical which caused me to seek out the object of her confusion. Standing just inside the door of the restaurant was a short stub of a man; a Black man wearing black jeans and a black short sleeved shirt. A blue duffel bag was over his right shoulder and held aloft in his right hand was a yellow piece of paper, printed on that paper were the words “Sock Man”. He stood there just inside the door for a beat and then shuffled his sandaled feet across the tile about ten paces until he was standing right in the middle of the place. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

BOGO Day at Subway: Part 1

It’s been some time since I’ve regaled the lot of you with a story about my hometown and current place of residence, Decatur, GA. There are so many moving parts to this particular story that I’m pretty sure that I’ll have to break it up over a couple of days, maybe even a week. If you need to know what the people here in Decatur are capable of you should check out THIS BLOG and THIS BLOG as a point of reference before moving along with this one. And now without further ado, here is my latest Decatur Story.

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Last Saturday was beautiful, nearly 80 degrees, fluffy clouds floating about, and I was feeling good. I’d just finished a great workout at the gym and was pretty hungry afterward. I didn’t want to ruin my workout by eating junk; the closest thing to healthy was either a grilled chicken salad from the local Chick-Fil-A or a turkey sub from the Subway up the street. I really didn’t want to bother with having to go inside the mall to get the salad so Subway was the easy choice. As I turned into the lot listening to the Braves game I noted to myself that the lot was far more crowded than it should have been for 3:00 in the afternoon but I paid the extra traffic no mind as I parked and made my way to Subway’s front door. And that’s when I saw it, taped to the glass door on plain white paper was a sign that said:

Customer Appreciation Day! Buy one foot long sub get another Free! Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Do That Thing!! :: A Monday Quick Hit Blog

“You study long, you study wrong.” Don’t spend all day looking at those cards!”

That was usually Kim, or Charles, or Will, or one of my other college friends yelling across the card table imploring me to play quickly instead of having lengthy deliberations with myself while playing spades, the card game that I spent more than a little time participating in while a student at Georgia Southern (go Eagles). The view of my fellow card players was that little about the circumstances in my hand were going to change. The cards I held weren’t going to transform to something else so sitting there poring over the cards was going to do nothing but hold up the process for the others waiting to play, so play already! Continue reading

Categories: Attempts at Seriousness, College Years, Encouragement, Relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thoughts From The Weekend, Vol. 2

For the first time in a while I spent a weekend out of the confines of metro Atlanta. Needed some time to reevaluate things and break away from the familiar for a while so I jumped in the car, pointed it northward, and got out of dodge. The road trip was kinda lengthy so there was plenty of time to for random thoughts and such. Some of which are listed for you below. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, So Incredibly Random, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Answer Your Call

IF YOU’RE A MUSIC LOVER LIKE ME there’s no better place to be than in the front row. There are few adjectives to accurately describe the energy of having your favorite musician or singer right there in person mere feet from where you sit. A few days ago I attended a show featuring one of my favorite artists, the phenomenal Frank McComb. My seat was close enough for me to rest my feet on the stage while the show was going on; it was also near enough to Mr. McComb that he heard me singing along with one of my favorite songs when he broke into it near the beginning of his set. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Attempts at Seriousness, Music | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Three Weekend Tidbits: Vol. 1

We just had the first really beautiful weekend of the year here in Atlanta. The temperatures topped out at 76 degrees, tree blooms came out to play and people were everywhere – in the parks, cruising in their cars, in the malls – all trying to take in the first occurrence of Spring weather. I, of course, was numbered amongst those out in the sun as I spent most the weekend outdoors. As I usually do when I’m out and about I keep my notepad app on my phone at the ready in case I see something interesting. The following is a couple of questions and tidbits that I typed in my phone while I was around the city the last couple of days. Continue reading

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Manscaping and Near Death Experiences

Author’s Note: A few friends that frequent my blog asked what’s been going on with me lately? They said that I didn’t seem myself with all the encouragement and motivational type blogs that I’ve been up to lately, not that encouragement and motivation suck, but it is a departure from the material that usually occupies this space. I told them that I would attempt to find my way back to that type material so I give you today, a story about my near death experience. Obviously. -Skrap

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I have yet to find a way to slow the calendar so birthdays continue to come but getting a little older doesn’t mean that I have to resign myself to feeling lethargic and heavy, right?  At some point we have all looked at ourselves in a mirror and perhaps come to the realization we should take better care of ourselves. But then we get lazy and we find the our food better when its fried and before you know it two months have passed and we’ve still not managed to get our tails off the couch and onto a treadmill. It would be so simple if we just had the ability to decide to do better and then make better happen; most of us, though, need a severe kick in the hindquarters in order to get ourselves together. I got my wake up call during the final week of January of this year when I nearly died, kind of. Continue reading

Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Family, Humor, So Incredibly Random, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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