Posts Tagged With: House

Here’s What They Think About You…

Another Black History message for the People…Feel free to read though, white brethren… 🙂

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Ok, I’m going to get right into it today as it’s Friday, it’s gonna be over 70 degrees this afternoon and for the rest of the weekend, thusly I need to get to the mall and buy some new sneakers to cruise the park in to see all the pretty ladies that break out their sundresses for the first time in 2011.

A few weeks back there was uproar in “The Community” about the lack of “community members” included in the Oscar nominations recently announced in January. There is a great wealth of Black talent in Hollywood. Don Cheadle is probably my favorite actor, Angela Bassett is as talented as she is a fox, and Denzel Washington goes without saying; that’s just scratching the surface; I didn’t even get to Terrance Howard, Djimon Hounsou, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And what about Black directors, there are plenty of them, right? John Singleton, the Hughes Brothers, and the obvious choice, Knicks fan extraordinaire Spike Lee are ones right off the top of my head. And even with that brief look at talent available to produce real meaningful Black films what do we get hitting theaters today?

That’s right, yet another cross dressing comedy. Now, God bless Martin Lawrence. If you’re about my age you grew up on Martin with his buddies Gina, Cole, Tommy and Pam; you remember his stand up routines before he was on the big screen and Lord knows we all remember him as Bilal who just needed Chill to stop bumping his DJ table in House Party but, really, wasn’t one Big Momma’s House enough? I know people gotta keep the lights on and their wives and families happy but three of them?

Back to my original point though, you can’t complain about what you’re not willing to fix. If you say that you want a porterhouse steak but you keep ripping into the Spam when they bring it out on the fine china then who’s to blame? You think Hollywood doesn’t know that comedies and action films (and cross dressing Black men) move the meter as well as the money from Black movie goers wallets? So why wouldn’t they keep shoveling it out? It’s likely because the suits out west think that’s all you can take. And yeah, folk of other hues, have their garbage films too, Jackass 3-D and anything that Jack Black was featured in; but stop haranguing about the balance in their films and kill that noise about the fact that there are more substantial films on the other side because should 2011’s version of “The Last King of Scotland” hit the theaters you certainly wouldn’t go check for it because Flocka ain’t on the soundtrack and Sanaa Lathan ain’t in it (no knock on Sanaa, mad talented. Respect.).

That ain’t what I think though, that’s what they think.

And, no, there aren’t enough stories and characters of interest including you folk that warrant the production of dramatic film so we’ll give you a biopic every 5 or so years about a musician or a Black leader like Nelson Mandela who was just done by Morgan Freeman in Invictus in 2009, will be done again by Terrance Howard in September 2011 in the film “Winnie and Nelson” (also starring Jennifer Hudson), and likely done again in 2013 by Chris Brown in Tyler Perry’s “Madea Defeats Apartheid”. Speaking of which, in another decade or so the stink ought to be off Chris and Rihanna’s situation enough that the younger generation can have their version of “What’s Love Got To Do With It”, the role of Chris Brown of course played by Jaden Smith and Rihanna by Keke Palmer; don’t think it can’t happen, remember that movie garnered nominations for Best Actor and best Actress back in 1993. But until then, here, chew on this new version of Big Momma’s House, just like you chewed on Lottery Ticket and Death at a Funeral (a poor remake by the way but you thought it was an original now didn’t you?) and don’t worry your pretty little heads about things pertaining to dramatic film that garner Oscar consideration, at least not this year. We’ll be in touch.

But that ain’t what I think, though, that’s what they think.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the mall to find some sneakers.

~thanks for reading.

About the author: Skrap is probably taking all of this too seriously because he has dear friends in L.A. that struggle in the Hollywood rat race to get their dreams put on the screen. Real. Legitimate. Dreams. That said, there is no chance that he will see Big Momma’s House: Like Father Like Son. No chance, not even on a dare.

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Categories: Attempts at Seriousness, Humor, So Incredibly Random | Tags: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Waffle Induced Worry – Driving with Dad

Hey all! If you’ve been here to the South then you know a couple of things. You know that our winters are short and our summers are humid.  You know that the mosquito is the regional bird of the south. And you also know that there is a Waffle House every 3.5 miles on whatever street you might be traversing at the time. Waffle House is like Coca Cola in the south, it’s a freakin’ institution. Everyone in this area of the world can tell you exactly how they like their hash browns, I prefer scattered, covered, and topped, and even if you don’t like the place everyone has a late night Waffle House story because after hours it’s pretty much the only place open; those bright letters looking like hovering yellow Scrabble tiles bidding you welcome after a late night salsa party or wild night out with friends. Most everyone loves the Waffle House in one way or another, my Dad does, or he did, until they started construction on one less than a mile from my parents’ house. Now he’s not so sure.

If you’ve frequented this blog for a while you know that my Dad worries; in fact, it’s almost like he likes to worry. It’s his own little adrenaline rush of sorts; it gets his blood pumping to fret over something. He can be in the midst of a normal conversation about something normal and then – Boom! – there’s something to worry about! Like the Waffle House.

I had to run Dad across town last week to go get his car from the mechanic. I hadn’t talked to Dad in a couple of days so the 20 minutes in the car would give us boys a chance to chat it up in the car with some light conversation over his favorite jazz station on the radio. Our ride was going great until we passed the brand new still not opened for business Waffle House on the corner of Memorial and Candler Roads in dear ol’ Decatur, GA. I, for one, am excited about the new Waffle House as it is going to be closer than the one that I used to have to frequent on the off chance I had to make a hash brown run so I thought that I could start a little small talk about liking the idea of having a new Waffle House nearby. Bad idea.

Me: The new Waffle House should be open soon, Dad. They’ve already paved the parking lot and finished the inside.

Dad: It’ll be closed in a week.

Me: What? Why do you say that?

Dad: A Waffle House? Here? On this corner? Where do you think knuckleheads will go late at night when they want something to eat? Someone will be shot in a week.

Me: Dad, really? This isn’t a bad neighborhood.

Dad: You’re right, but bad people have cars and hooligans get hungry and Waffle House doesn’t close.

Me: So you think that someone is gonna get shot in a week over a waffle.

Dad: I’m not saying someone is going to get shot over a waffle. I am saying someone will probably get shot while eating one though!

Me: Dad, really?

Dad: They should have opened a mini police precinct in the parking lot.

Me: But Dad, all the other Waffle Houses are open 24 hours too. There haven’t been any shootings there.

Dad: Maybe, but this one is new, you know how people like to mess up new stuff.

Me: So you’re saying that I shouldn’t go there on the off chance I want late night food?

Dad: Nope…I’m just saying you should get it “to-go”.

And it went on and on like this in the car about all the people that would be maimed whilst eating waffles and hash browns and orange juice at the brand new Waffle House up the street. How the kids from the teen club around the way would swarm on the place after they finished staying out long after any teenager should be out in the first place. And, oh, goodness what about Friday nights after the high school football games when people are just hanging out, they don’t want waffles, they’re just in the parking lot with their loud music looking for trouble. And never mind me telling him that I used to do the same thing when I was a teenager after high school football games and it never amounted to anything more than me sitting on the hood of my car with my radio up too loud with my friends because, for goodness sake, all he said in response was that’s because I had parents that raised me right and taught me about consequences so I knew better than to fight with someone over something stupid much less shoot at somebody. And he’s not saying that the streets are full of orphans without parents but that the parents today aren’t as strict with their kids and that’s why they are running the streets putting bullet holes in waffles at 2:30am when they should be at home in the bed and even more than that what about the…

“DADDY! We’re here…”

I made the right turn into the mechanic’s establishment in Hapeville, GA and there sat Dad’s car in the parking lot to the right. He looked over to it and smiled knocked out of his Waffle Induced Violence Diatribe by the thought of a new transmission in his beloved Ford. I put my car in park and asked him if he needed me to stick around for a minute and he waved me away saying that he just needed to pay the mechanic and then he’d be gone. Then he grabbed his walking stick and started his cool stroll across the parking lot around the corner and out of sight. I sat in the car for a minute still dazed and processing all that was prophesied to happen within the first week at the new Waffle House just a mile from my parents’ home and came to the rapid conclusion that I’d better dine there within that first week or end up being a victim in a hail of bullets over hash browns covered in cheese and chili.

~thanks for reading 🙂

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Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Family, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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