Last I left you a couple of weeks ago the time was 3:35pm and I was standing in what looked like a Subway sandwich shop but what, in actuality, may have very well been the Twilight Zone what with all the weird things going on at that point. If you’re just joining us you can read HERE, HERE, and HERE to get caught up. And now…
I laughed as I took a look at the clock on the wall as it read 3:35 which meant that I’d been foolish enough to stand pat in line at this particular Subway for over nearly 20 minutes, 30 minutes if you count the time that I sat in the car listening to the Braves on the radio get the final three outs in their afternoon game against the Phillies. How bad must I have wanted to take advantage of Buy One, Get One Free at Subway? I guess about as bad as I wanted a hamburger from a Hardee’s that I thought was being robbed, but I digress. But there was light at the end of the tunnel because there were only two people ahead of me now. Two young men, somewhere between the ages of 18-20 if I had to guess, were standing in line in the typical ‘hood uniform of sagging shorts, nondescript plain shirts – one a white wifebeater and the other a black t shirt at least 3 sizes too big – white socks, and houseshoes. Both of them deemed it appropriate to come out of the house wearing fuzzy houseshoes. After giving them the quick once over I was doubtful that this would be a swift transaction, then once one of the young men asked the following question, I knew I should probably pull up a chair because this was going to take a while: Continue reading
Categories: Atlanta, Decatur Stories, Humor
Tags: Atlanta, BOGO, Decatur, footlong, Ronald Reagan, Sandwich, shawty, Subway, Sun Chips
Okay folks, if you haven’t done so you need to read THIS BLOG and THIS BLOG to get the back story here. Or you can just read this one and miss out on what’s already happened in this thread. Here we go…
The hustleman induced laughter had just about died down both amongst the Subway patrons and the workers and things had returned to normal. I was looking over the menu when I heard something all too familiar; it was the unmistakable sound of an impatient Black female sucking her teeth. Having grown up in the house with my two older sisters I learned early that when you hear that sound the probability is better than 70% that there’s about to be some raised voices in the room in a short matter of time. The woman a couple of spots ahead of me in line was standing arms folded with a huge Michael Kors bag on her shoulder. When I say huge I mean that an airline would have to measure it to make sure that it would fit in an overhead compartment before a commercial airline flight. It was a nice bag but far too big for a neighborhood jaunt to Subway for a sandwich; Aside from her ridiculously large bag the very next thing that I noticed were her eyelashes which were Disney character long – Bambi, Lady from Lady and the Tramp, Ariel the Little Mermaid – they all would have killed to have the eyelashes that this lady had glued to her eyelids. While her lashes were attached to perfection, the eyes they adorned were currently shooting darts into the back of the gentleman in front of her. Continue reading
Hey you! You should probably read THIS BLOG first before you start reading down there. Don’t worry, we’ll wait.
Date: Saturday, April 13
Time: 3:15 pm
Place: Subway Restaurant in Decatur (where it’s greater). GA
The line for sandwiches at the Subway was at a standstill but I paid it no mind because “E.T.” by Katy Perry was playing over the store’s speakers and I was GOING IN singing along with the lyrics! One of the “sandwich artists” paused from sprinkling oregano on the sandwich in front of her and flashed a look in my direction that said “why this Black dude standing here singing this song by some white chick?” Just as I was about to flash her my million dollar smile, I saw her eyes go towards the door; immediately her expression turned quizzical which caused me to seek out the object of her confusion. Standing just inside the door of the restaurant was a short stub of a man; a Black man wearing black jeans and a black short sleeved shirt. A blue duffel bag was over his right shoulder and held aloft in his right hand was a yellow piece of paper, printed on that paper were the words “Sock Man”. He stood there just inside the door for a beat and then shuffled his sandaled feet across the tile about ten paces until he was standing right in the middle of the place. Continue reading
It’s been some time since I’ve regaled the lot of you with a story about my hometown and current place of residence, Decatur, GA. There are so many moving parts to this particular story that I’m pretty sure that I’ll have to break it up over a couple of days, maybe even a week. If you need to know what the people here in Decatur are capable of you should check out THIS BLOG and THIS BLOG as a point of reference before moving along with this one. And now without further ado, here is my latest Decatur Story.
Last Saturday was beautiful, nearly 80 degrees, fluffy clouds floating about, and I was feeling good. I’d just finished a great workout at the gym and was pretty hungry afterward. I didn’t want to ruin my workout by eating junk; the closest thing to healthy was either a grilled chicken salad from the local Chick-Fil-A or a turkey sub from the Subway up the street. I really didn’t want to bother with having to go inside the mall to get the salad so Subway was the easy choice. As I turned into the lot listening to the Braves game I noted to myself that the lot was far more crowded than it should have been for 3:00 in the afternoon but I paid the extra traffic no mind as I parked and made my way to Subway’s front door. And that’s when I saw it, taped to the glass door on plain white paper was a sign that said:
Customer Appreciation Day! Buy one foot long sub get another Free! Continue reading